Queen of GOON

foodchewer:

i used to be good at math but then i finished 1st grade

tentacledicks:

do you ever just want to grab someone in one of your classes

and pull their face close and whisper

“I am ten times smarter than you will ever be, your opinions are both ill-informed and unoriginal, the career path you are headed on is so overdosed with barely competent imbeciles like you that you will be incapable of finding a job, and incidentally your shoes are clashing with your outfit in a way that cannot even be called deliberately bad. so shut. the. fuck. up.”

whorville:

don’t cry me a river. that’s stupid as hell. cry me a milkshake

cinnamontoastcrunchchallenge:

when i die, my tombstone wont say RIP

it will say VIP

thadoggfather:

follow me back or my mum will call your mum 

brenodnurie:

do you ever just wanna sit next to someone and listen to everything they could possibly say about anything ever just because you like their face and their voice and their general existence 

xast:

hotmail only got named hotmail after i made an account

u liked my pic

i liked ur pic

i think u know what’s next

i jUST DELTEDED ALL MY PHOTOS OFF MY IPHONE BECAUSE IT SYNCED TO FUCKING ITUNES AND NOW ITS BROKEN AND WONT TURN ON 

IM ACTUALLY HAVING A MELT DOWN HELP

mku-m:

We sat on the balcony
At two in the morning
Smoking a cigarette and a joint
You looked interested in the night sky
While smoke was blown past your face
And joined the night sky
You wished you could too
And i sat there
Looking interested in you
While i blew smoke past your face
Wishing i could take you too the stars

izzetheking:

HOw do i kill someone without looking rude

tristamateer:

please
tell me which part of yourself
you hate the most
so I know exactly where to plant my lips
every time I see you